Ron'll gonna geddit now!

A PLAY FOR YAS!

Several peoples say dat thur kidsa gone missin' at McDonalds. This pic was snapped at the scene. Ronald McDonald is the prime suspect, and Burger King shall solve this sudoku puzzle.

Detecter Burger King: Mr. McDonald, Do you know anything about the missing children?

Ronald: Heck no! I don't do nuttin' to kids but fatten 'em up with my delicious Happy Meals!


Burger king: Then what were you doing to this child in da pic, before she "magically disappeared"?

RMD: Well, uhh.... *sweats* I was gonna give her a happy meal, duh!

BK: So who snatchied 'er, ay?

RMD: Er-! Eh, uh, IT WAS WENDY! I MEAN IF YA KEEP SAYIN "OMG OUR BURGERS AREN'T FROZEN, BETTA THAN FAST FOOD" DON'TCHA THINK PEOPLE'RE GONNA-

BK: Ronald, I find that-... What's that?

RMD: Uh, what? *Shoves sack in pocket* I don't see nothin'.

BK: Was that a sack?! And a pretty bulgy one at that?! THAT SEEMED TO BE KICKING AND CRYING FOR HELP?!

Yesh, Ronald's sack WAS screaming and scrabbling. BK snatches the sack from RMD and opens it up. Immediately, hundreds of children scramble out and run out the door, wailing.

BK: What do you have to say about THIS, eh, Ronald?


RMD: Aw, dangit! YOU'LL NEVAH CATCH ME COPPAHS!!!!


Ronald stupidly jumps out of the 91th story window (Hollerin' "I'M LOVIN' IT BABY!") to his death, of course, with a big *CRACK!!!*

BK: Well, that's that! HAVITCHOWAY!

FIN!

RAINBOW!

I'm in a rainbow! Okay, so that was probably my lamest idea ebber, BUT IT MADE ME FEEL GOOD! First, here's a safety lesson: Never go to the end of a rainbow, 'cuz there'll be a buncha short peoples dressed in green, slashin' their little maces at ya, saying "AAAAARGH! GET AWAY FROM ME POT O' GOLD, YEE LANDLUBBER!". Well, I just made that up. Piece of pie? Too bad. *munch* So, now what? Rainbows are MYTHS. Y'know that? No? You just saw one outside? Dang!

The GOOD people!

A good person..... Fails their science quizzes. A good person.......Is shorter than me. r gn,.camfscjxnhhvsjgnhjdkvchnksgchierluraclm. A good person.... Knows what the heck I just said. Ha ha! I just got into one o' those Hitler phases. What I'm saying here is that I think people who are taller than me, people who are smarter than me, and people who get me confused with a CD player cannot find out how many licks it really takes to get to the tootsie roll center of a tootsie pop because they can only do easy stuff ( The things I listed were easy to do). I , however DO fail my science quizzes! I AM shorter than me, whatever that means, and I DO want a CD player (Quick fact: People always tell me about their iPods, and all I can say is, "I don't even have my own headphones! I know - it's sad. *Sniffle*). I AM THE GREATEST! YOU GIVE ME THE SNIFFLES! YOU GIVE ME THE STICKIES!( Ew, I'm all old n' sticky!) I don't know why, but I wants to lick an antelope's claw.

A story to relish!!!

STORY TIME!!!! Griffy Kigger once loved relished pickles with popcorn, but that all changed one day. He was shopping at the mall with his best buddy, Johnny (Yes, the same Johnny with the elephants and ol' geezey AS SEEN in one of my older poststststststsss....) and they stopped at HOT TOPIC to buy a Telly Tubbies T-shirt, and Johnny's all like, "Hey, I bet these tubbies would go good with some relish." And Griffy's all like, "Hey, that's just not right, man!" But Johnny convinced him that they wouldn't be cannibals if the thing they ate wasn't human and so they went to McRelish. Of course, the un-souled workers refused to pour relish on their shirts. Instead, They got pickles and popcorn with 53 pounds of relish poured on. Griffy sucked and slurped on his pickle piece, but he just couldn't choke it down! He finally did, though, and threw up all over some old lady's armor armour amor amr tnwcqiun! It turns out that the pickle piece was a little sewer mouse that was all pink 'cuz it just got borned! And boy, was this old geezer cranky! Johnny had tried to make her stop cussin' and yellin', but nothing worked. Instead, Johnny evacuated the mall and grabbed Griffy, who was scarred for life.

So, as you can see, Griffy still loved sticks of butter out of the jar, but not relished pickles n' popcorn.

Pizza year!

Did all you little ants have a bad Christmas? I hope so! Now, it's time for you mortals' new year! Of course MY new year comes on Dronchember 95th, but I'm here to play with YOU little ant mortals! Reasons why I'm happy about all this year changin': 1. Writing 2007 or so /so /07 has been a big pain! 2. I get to stay up 'til 12:00 a.m.! 3. I could really use a chocolate muffin right now. And last, AND least, I can spend time with my famiwy! (Yeah, right! I'd rather make friends with a mushy mushroom slug and invite it over for dinner! Actually, that's not such a bad idea... hmm...) Still, I don't really WANT it to be 2008 either 'cuz writing that dumb little 8 is hard, too! What will I DO when the pizza comes? Shoot!

Joke:(Oh, now I'm a joketser now!) Why do only naughty little kids(brats) make snowmen in January?

Answer: ( What now, a wiseman?!) 'Cuz the eyes are made outta COAL!!!!!!!!!!!!! (Doy! This is like a big lecture from my boss! P.S. My boss is a soda can....)

......

..... Look VERY closely... Lyrics: Person 1: YOU got da powah, Frodo, young grasshoppah! Use it wisely. Person 2: I'm not Frodo! And all I did was earn 12 bucks from my lemonade stand. Person 1: Well, STILL! Person 2: Fine, I'll take you to the ice cream shop. Person 1: YAY! Boxy thingy that you see in graphic novels like Spiderman or something to tell the setting or time, which I really hate: Later.... Person 1: For the road! Person 2: OLE! Me: ...............

Elephants gone hiploojika!

I've finally decided to show ya one of my doo'les! If you have laser vision, you can see what this green - haired chick's - heh heh... She's a baby chicken - shirt says . If you don't have special vision in your head, Let me give ya a few words o' wisdom. Her shirt says, "Come see the elephants". But she's not happy 'cuz when she saw the elephants at the zoo, they was ATTACKTING A OL' MAN 'CUZ HE HAD A HERSHEY BAR! At the moment she didn't have a hershey bar, but it's kind of freaky, scary, and weird when you see an ol' geezey geezer being eaten by an angry elephant... In her head, Johnny (That's the kid's name) was thinkin', "Whoa... Cool.... Gross..... Say, I want some pet toads...." Soon, the ol' geez' got throwed up and looked like a tomato... So Johnny gave him a lift to the cake shop and bought a choco - triple quintuple double chocolate muffin 'cuz she was on a diet. The ol' geez' just sat down and chewed on his toe.... The end! I'm gonna show you more doo'les sometime....